Planning for Homebirth as a Military Wife & Finding Helpers So 'You Don't Have to Do It Alone'

"[My midwife] didn't touch me unless it was welcomed. I loved the hands off thing... [I asked],  'What are your thoughts on just leaving me alone... being there but not being too much, too over bearing, too all in my face? I just want everybody to be there quietly, that's it. I'm not high maintenance. As long as you're there, but I don't need anyone touching me.'" ​ ~ Candace Smith

Candace Smith is the wife of a marine, the mother of four children, and a birthworker who just experienced the homebirth she desired with a Black midwife. I was impressed by her experience because she managed the arrangements for her homebirth even while dealing with her husband receiving orders to move to a new state where she felt less comfortable with her options for homebirth.

Candace is truly special to me and, from our first encounter, personally left an impression on me and the work that I do. (We talk about that a bit in our conversation.) Right now, she is focusing on being a mother to her beautiful children and not actively involved in birthwork. Still, I appreciate her willingness to share portions of her homebirth story and process as a new mom to her new baby. I believe that she offers a lot of food for thought about the ways that Black women can connect with each other to improve our birth experiences.

Topics discussed:

• Natural family support systems
• Becoming what you wish you had
• Family caring for new moms
• The need to create a support system
• Planning a homebirth and moving as a military mom
• Laboring at home vs the hospital
• Asking questions and makng sure you understand
• Looking after the postpartum mom
• Midwifery care at home
• Arranging to take homebirth baby to the pediatrician for the first time
• Finding the best doctor for baby
• Focusing on the care of the new mother
• ​Staying in the house
• Doing "nothing" as a new mother
• Having a "baby moon"
• "A new mother after every birth"
• Knowing your role with a new mother
• Finding your people and culture during postpartum
• Setting up your "dream team" for homebirth
• Being mindful of what you need
• Guarding your mental health as a new mom
• Letting people know what you need
• Gleaning from the elders and our birthing traditions

Candace offers this gratitude:

"I would like to thank all of the women in my family for their strength and loving example. My midwife Kai Parker. My doula training organization Prodoula for the knowledge I have received while attending workshops. My birth and postpartum clients who have trusted me to care for their families."

Listen to the Podcast

Connect with Candace:

Facebook: Candace Smith Doula
Instagram: @Can_Doula
​FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/chameleondoulaco/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chameleondoulaco/