Nurturing Mother-Daughter Connections & Managing the Expectations and Disappointments of Homebirth

"When we try to put all of our energy and time toward unraveling white issues, [we're] not gonna really deal with the Black issues. You need to heal yourself... learn your people, your culture. Learn what fits you. You are gonna be chasing something not designed for your DNA. It's not designed for your cultural experience."  ~ Tayo Mbande

Tayo and her mother Toni, co-founders of Chicago Birthworks Collective

I was first interested in interviewing Tayo Mbande to talk about her recent home birth, but I could not ignore the work I have seen her doing through Chicago Birthworks Collective (CBC), an organization she co-founded with her mother, Toni. Most recently, CBC hosted the 1st Annual Black Breastfeeding Cookout, the very first gathering of its kind and it was well received among Black families. Before that, members participated in the 90th Annual Bud Biliken Parade, the largest Black parade in the nation. Black women breastfeeding was promoted, celebrated and showcased to the Black community in Chicago by some of its own daughters. Additionally, Tayo has taken opportunities to speak on various radio platforms as an advocate for Black women in childbirth.

CBC Black Breastfeeding Cookout

CBC at the Bud Billiken Parade

I have so much appreciation for Tayo's youth and also her ability to mobilize other young Black women toward birthwork. More impressive than her work is listening to her speak about her relationship with her mother and how it has been shaped through motherhood. Their relationship triumphs are encouragement for other Black women seeking to heal generational challenges to reclaim sacred birth traditions.

CBC describes "The Black Girl's Labor Guide" as a: A labor guide designed FOR US, BY US

Topics discussed:
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• Entering birthwork with your mom
• ​Having a “community mom” and 'pimpin’ out your mom???
• Dealing with the realities of birthwork
• Historical context between Black mothers and daughters
• Black and white vaginas vs. womb histories
• Talking to your daughters about “coming out of your vagina”
• The responsibility to “tend to your connections” with your “mothers”
• “Lotus Birth” analogy
• Being aware of the “work” you are supposed to do
• Healing so your daughters don’t have to
• Understanding Black concerns
• Family making the difference in the birth space
• Birth experiences in the hospital
• Deciding to birth at home
• Allowing the community to care for you
• Taking personal responsibility for your birth choices
• Challenges during pregnancy and postpartum
• Gathering your “Birth Village” and learning together
• Having a “Family Birth” and assigning roles to your birth village 
• Black men “tending” to birth
• Experiencing spontaneous labor for the first time with your 3rd child
• “Calling labor forth...”
• Having irregular labor patterns during a home birth
• Actualization and disappointments during homebirth
• Tending to pain and being authentic in childbirth
• Managing “Instagram expectations” of homebirth
• “The Black Girl’s Labor Guide”
• Prioritizing the needs of your children within your work

In this interview, Tayo discusses her unassisted homebirth experience and, for those who appreciate small rays of sunshine like me will also enjoying seeing her little ones toward the end of the interview. Tayo shares these words of graitude:

"My gratitude goes first to my mother, who was my first home and continues to nurture me through my own motherhood and through my journey as a birth worker. My gratitude then goes to all of my grandmothers through who's wombs I've passed! They continue to reveal to me the practices that have and will save our lives and our children's lives. I am thankful to the women of Chicago Birthworks Collective and the Black birthworker community in Chicago for continuously investing in me with their time, and wisdom of Black womanhood, and motherhood. Shafia Monroe for lighting the way of return to traditional Black woman centered care and being present to support in this work. "

CBC at the 1st Annual Black Breastfeeding Cookout in Chicago in August 2019.

​Listen to the Podcast:

​Learn more about the work Brandi is doing and connect with her to take advantage of the opportunities she is making available:

Website: www.ChicagoBirthworks.com
Office: 872-903-3813
Email: Tayo@chicagobirthworks.com
Instagram: @ChicagoBirthworksCo​
FB Page: Chicago Birthworks Collective